Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now

I thought that this class...all about crisis stabilization/interventions, self mutilation, and suicide would be difficult because of an overwhelming rush of memories or reliving this horrible situation that I've known. But its not, the hard part is the rationalizing, analyzing, and organizing as a clinician. Its the stories of clients as some separate outside force, that they are different, its us and them but I can't delineate that line. I feel like i am in a limbo in this situation

Love

"Feels Like Home"

Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks, down a long, dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see, through the dark there is light

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

Don't ever save anything for a special occasion.
Being alive is the special occasion

Masters Program

I am in my Masters Program, spending one weekend a month of my life for the next three years in a classroom learning how to deal with a whole bunch of crazy shit.

I am working on Community Mental Health and sit here class after class and collect my thoughts on how I want to save the world from teen suicide...

I feel empowered and at the same time, so very small in class. I know I have power but things like classmates stories and my internship make it so hard to keep positive. I want to think the work I do will be important but there are so many issues to chew through first. Financial issues, depending too much on the system, over prescribing medications, apathy from burnout...

it just makes it seem too much to push through
too much to try for

OMG!!

I love Glee

I am such a dork but watching this show makes me laugh so hard my tummy hurts! :)

from my grad assignment on coping with stress... awesome picture

Realization

I am learning to be self-responsible / to recognize that we are the author of our choices and actions; that we must be the ultimate source of our own fulfillment; that no one is coming to make our life right for us, or make us happy, or give us self-esteem.
Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D.

No one is coming to save us

Smile

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky
you'll get by.

If you smile through your pain and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun shining through
For you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying.
You'll find that life is still worthwhile-
If you just smile.

over a year...

is it incredible how much can happen in a year

someone can come back from a cliff, return to sanity, see love and beauty, enjoy nature and expereince enjoying life by simply living it

there is not need to run

there is not nees to hide

eventhough bad things happen and sometimes people make you feel sad, that is not the end all be all of who you are

you are better than the people who hurt you

and you are better due to the people who love you